digging deep & sheryl the sherpa

well, i'm a marathoner. it happened.

my friend amynoie flew out from chicago to do the race with me.

friend time at target and jeni's ice cream? check.

relax in a hotel? check.

 run a marathon? check. 



























we walked over from the hotel in what felt like the early dawn hours. many people.  many people.  so many people.

priorities before race time - check our gear, go to the bathroom, and line up.
the crowds put limits our goals.

we checked our gear, tried to wait in the lines to use the port-a-potties but a frustratingly long wait, and a small brick wall separated amy and me until the finish line.  amy decided to hop the wall to get to the bathroom.  my unorganized and bumbling self with my arms full of gatorade and my jacket and my earphones and an extra just-in-case banana.  i couldn't jump the wall.  i lost amynoie.
we'd have to start the race by ourselves.

the starting line was super sized.
lasers flashing in the trees.
ac/dc's thunderstruck blasting through a mile of speakers.
fireworks.  tears. excitement, pride, and terror

this is going to happen!!
(mayor coleman <shown below> came to watch me run my first marathon)




























ac/dc, bruce springsteen, even ke$ha sang out and got us all excited!

and
there were FIREWORKS!

i saw my parents (up all the way from georgia) and my sister less than a half mile in. 

hi/bye.

i broke the race down into smaller, more achievable segments in my head. 

1. get to refreshments every mile and a half or so
2. get to where people are waiting for me
3. get to the timing mats that would text everyone how i was doing.

after gulping down some gatorade and water at each of the next few fluid stations, my next goal was to get to that 10k timing mat. under control.  as my friend janelle told me, "run like the wind in a very consistent and reasonable pace that's comfortable for you." and that's what i did.  every time i checked my watch, i was exactly where i wanted to be. yesssss.

think of a beautiful autumn day.  the trees are perfectly red and orange.  the weather is brisk but sunny.
that day was race day.  a perfectly beautiful autumn day.

after the first timing mat, i had a couple miles before i'd look for friends.
it was about this point that it started to sink in:  i'm running a marathon today.  
and i only have about 19 miles left.  oh dear.  but i still felt good.

i was looking for megan but saw janelle instead at almost mile 9. OH HI!!!   i had to back track a bit because i missed her at first. gave her a quick hug and asked her the most important question: 
"is the text tracking working????"
i needed people to be able to follow along.  i needed to know that people were with me.  

the next few miles were a familiar trek.  
german village with its spectators and their dogs happily crowding in around the runners.  
the permanent smell of toast in the air.  
schiller park in its tranquil sunday morning beauty.  
the turn and push up high street

suddenly, the turn off for the half-marathoners was flashing on the large construction sign.  i remember last year how quickly it felt like the turn off came.  and now it was here again.  except, i was going to continue straight.  

almost as soon as we lost the half-marathoners, the spectators thinned out, the runners thinned out, the tumbleweeds blew by......

suddenly there was no turning back.  the real race lay ahead of me.  only marathoners ran next to me.

shortly after the turn off, i saw my parents and sister again.  this time i could hug, say a couple words, and see what they'd been doing this whole time.

my sister was an amazing sherpa guide. she guided my parents all over columbus to see me at multiple points on the course. she was ready with good gu flavors since i couldn't fit enough in my little pouch.  

the exchange went like this: you take this flavor, give me your flavor, and take this car key that i accidentally brought with me like a moron. 

i don't think my parents wanted me to stand around and chat. they wanted me to go! go run!!!

so i was off again.

next segment in my head was sarah

i saw her and her daughter addi at mile 14. no disappointments.  

HI!!

a brief hello and "you're looking great" with another sarah and i was heading off to campus.

next goal was to get to that stadium. i'd heard mixed reviews: "it's an exciting and meaningful piece of columbus history" or "it's a drag on my pace."

i don't think the stadium is what has a drag on people's pace. i think the fact that it's at mile 17 is a drag on the pace. i thought the in and out ramps were a little bit of a nuisance but the brief run through the endzone was really exciting and beautiful. i'm in the pro-stadium camp.

next segment - get to mile 19 to see courtney, janelle, jake, and evan.  at this point, i NEEDED to see them.

a quick cut-through in the "corny field" was a bike path through the agriculture section of campus and it was loaded with motivational signs. i think i read each one. that was really a perfect time for all those signs.

it was around this point, my knee started to say hello. oh hey knee, what's going on. just running a marathon.

i had to walk it off. keep going. the pace was great. keep going. keep the pace up!

but i was starting to go to the dark side. oh dear. it's too early for this. 7 miles left.

i looked ahead and saw a group of people with a sign that said JOYCE! hey, that's my name. hey! that's my friends!!!!

"you guys, i'm hurting, i'm slipping to the dark side. what do i do??"

i wanted them to tell me what to do.

"you look great, joyce."

"keep going."

"you're doing it!"

yeah, you're right, i am!!! and with that i was off again. i think evan may have been recording that horribly pessimistic exchange. and for that i'm sorry. wah.

i had a second wind for a little while.

i don't know if you all understand the very important and intimate role spectators play in a marathoner's journey. strangers, friends, family, me - we're all in it together.  

i need them it's proven again and again with the energy i gain from people cheering for me. and so i kept going.

around mile 21, i saw my friends from work! my friend with cerebral palsy in his electric wheelchair saw me coming. "joyce! there you are!!"

and my other friend who is non-verbal clapped and vocalized "JOOYYY!"

i looked to my friend that brought them for help. "i'm hurting."

his reply, "but you only have 5 miles left! just walk a little if you have to. just finish!"

and so i nodded, turned, and ran away to the cheers of my friends yelling after me down grandview avenue.

i walked on and off and found myself at mile 23. some random spectator saw me across the road and looked me in the eye and said reading my name off my bib, "joyce, do this right now, dig deep." i clapped and started up again and then i thought, wait, what does that mean? dig deep? dig where? dig for what? what do i have left??? i AM digging deep. what does that mean?

i was in a dark, dark place. but at no point did i ever say to myself, i'm never doing this again. i just had to get to the finish. but i wasn't sure how. i heard in my head, this would be over faster if i run to the finish instead of limp.

my sister met me at mile 25. i couldn't smile, wave, i could only nod. she thought i didn't see her when she waved for me at first. no no, i saw you, sheryl, i just don't have the energy anymore to outwardly acknowledge you. she met me right at the last water station.  

again, i looked to her for help. "i'm hurting. every time i run, i have to stop in like a quarter of a mile."

she walked behind the water table watching me as i walked and tried to sip my last gatorade. 

i felt like poop. i've run 25 miles. i've got nothing. 

still had a mile and change to go.  

sheryl stayed with me. she walked on the sidewalk when i walked. and then she ran on the sidewalk when i ran. she was always in my peripheral.  

that last mile, i ran the rest of the way in. it was miserable but then i heard the finish line echoing down the street.   3/4 mile to go.

every once in a while, sheryl would yell out while running down the sidewalk, "YOU GOT THIS, JOYCE, YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!!!"

saw my friend sarah again. unfortunately she was recording this mess. i thought i had given her a look of pleading for help. but this looks like i was scowling at her. help me.

finally i made the turn into the finishing chute.  

the music was loud, the spectators were forcefully calling me by name to keep going and finish. 

i saw my parents crying and yelling for me to go. dad was waving at the finish saying, "you're right there, it's right there!" i could hardly acknowledge or look at them.  

the announcers were promising that 26.2 miles was behind me. all of these things carried me in.

the road veered and the finish line came into view.  people continued to cheer for me and i never took my eyes off that finish line.

this was an indescribable day.


and i am a marathoner.

 

https://vimeo.com/109387866

I can't do MATH! (18miles)

You guys, I'm 5 weeks from my first marathon.
FIVE weeks.

Training this summer has been surprisingly refreshing.  I feel strong, confident...like a runner!

Today's 18 mile training run was the longest (scariest) yet.

It came on one of the first chilly days of the year. Welcome, fall!!
As usual, the first 10 miles sailed by quickly and pretty easily. 

I LOVE the Columbus running community.  Especially on the trail.  
Most everyone offers a wave, a nod, a "good morning!" It makes me very happy.
Hello, running world!

I stopped at 10.5 miles at my prepared bag drop. Ate some Bloks, chugged some Gatorade, and read the comments on my Nike post.  
Some made me laugh.  
Some got me pumped for the last chunk of the run. 
Got ready and set off for the last 7.5 miles.  Just half of that down, then turn around and come back. Wait, how far is that?  For the LIFE of me, I could not figure out half of 7.5 miles, add it to 10.5 to know when I was supposed to turn around.  "Well, I guess it's almost 8, so i'll go almost 4 miles before I turn around.  What's that, turn around at 14 and almost 1/2??"  
HOW FAR DO I RUN??

Lesson:  math during a run is hard.

After obsessing for almost a half hour about what half of 7.5 is, I figured it out and got to the turn around point.  Almost immediately, I felt lightning in my left knee.  It scared me.  Most zings of pain are bearable and will just go away after a while.  But this was different.  It made me stop in my tracks.  I stretched.  Maybe this muscle will help.  Maybe this one.  I stretched again.  I must have had some sort of look of terror on my face because a sweet runner ran by and asked, "You ok??"
Defense mode kicked in, "I am, thanks!"
(I LOVE the Columbus running community.)
I decided to walk a little.  Whoa.  What is this!?? 
Walked a few minutes and finally said out loud, "Stop it! Stop this!"

My friend Jake once shared his pain philosophy with me.  
You have two options: you can either keep running and the pain will go away or you can keep running and you'll eventually be done.

So I clapped my hands and started running again.  Guess what, it went away.

Miles 12-14 were my enemies today. But I kept going and the odometer eventually rolled over to 15.  I felt a new charge. Oh man! I'm only 3 miles from my Gatorade (oh, and the finish!).  
I got to 17, I couldn't stop smiling like a loon.  Holy cow.  I'm just a mile away from 18 miles! 18!!
I was still waiting for some sort of "wall" to hit me.  But I got to the Gatorade tree with no incident.  And still with the goofy smile. 

The marathon is within reach, you guys.
I have no doubt that I will cross that finish line.
I AM in doubt as to what condition I'll be in when I cross.

But it is within reach.
And I cannot wait.

  

Columbus (Half) Marathon & Eleanor Roosevelt

This race had a more serious undertone than my first one in May.  For a few reasons.

1.) I'm not really a "newbie" anymore.  I have a few races under my belt and now it's not just about finishing.  It's about time.  It's about the training.  It's about pushing myself.

2.) Since it's sponsored by the Children's Hospital, it has something called Patient Miles.  Each mile of the race is "owned" by a different patient of the hospital.  Some are very sick.  Some come out and cheer the marathon anyway.

3.) Stacey's sick again.  I found out recently and have felt so helpless.  I decided to take her on as motivation to do my very best.

Despite these heavier points, today's race was an absolute blast.

The waiting around in the starting corrals felt just about arctic.  I had MANY layers on ready to discard and was still chilly.
Out of the blue, my friend Sarah happened to be in my same start wave and also happened to be standing right next to me!!  It helped to have a friend to chat out the nerves.  Also, it helped to have a friend to ask, "You think I should take my sweatshirt off yet?  How about now??"

We started in the third wave.  I hope the feeling of going up the hill on a roller coaster at race starting lines never goes away cuz it is becoming my favorite!  There were fireworks for each wave of starts.  The most nerves came while waiting in our corral and hearing the first set of fireworks go off.  Oh man.  It's time!

The first mile came and went and I don't think I stopped smiling.  It's here!  The Columbus Marathon!
There is also a slight chance that my smile was just stuck that way because of the frigid temps.  Who can tell.

The course was beautiful.  We ran 3 miles east - right into the sunrise.

By mile 4, I was still smiling, but felt a little tired.  I MAY have (meaning: DID) started too fast.  But I really didn't care today.  I was so happy race day was here. My main goal was to get to the tracker marker so everyone would see how fast I could run 10k.  :)  I know that's not a very good race plan.  But it kept me running.

By the time I crossed the 10k tracking point, I was feeling alright!  Crossing made me think of everyone who would see that alert.  It made me smile thinking of everyone. (Smiling is the theme?)  I felt completely supported and cheered for by my friends.  It didn't hurt that the entire course was LINED with spectators. Packed! Anytime I needed a pick-me-up, I'd turn the volume down on my headphones and listen to the cheers.  They were constant.

At mile 7, I saw Jim.



A large group gathered around him and people were patting him on the back, shaking his hand, cheering for him. How exhausting and exhilarating to run a marathon with everyone doing that!  But I did it to him too.
  Jim!!  It's YOU!!  Congratulations!! <3
He was more than gracious.

At mile 8, I saw MyTeamTriumph - the teams of angels who push a disabled athlete in their wheelchair.  I had considered doing this with them next year.  After seeing the team of runners, I will most definitely do this with them next year.
Captain Lucas ran with a group of about 7 or 8 angels.  One came from behind and tapped me on the shoulder and said, "We got a wheelchair on your right."
I stepped to the side and saw Lucas.  So excited for him.
"Lucas, you're doing it buddy!!!!"  He turned his head and smiled at me.  Highlight of the race.

At mile 9, I saw my sis!
Now, I don't know if it was the cold, if I was having some sort of breakdown, or if I was just simply enjoying the moment - but I had no words.  I saw her off to the side, ran up and hugged her, and took off.  No words.  From me?  Another highlight of the race.

At mile 10, I was starting to struggle.  I knew I had friends at Schiller Park.  If I could get to Schiller Park and show them how good I felt, I'd be alright.  It took forever to get to Schiller Park.  And I swear every house along the way was cooking breakfast.  I could smell it.  I'm hungry.  Was that toast???

At nearly mile 11, I saw Sarah and Amy.  Thank goodness.
I couldn't wait to see their sign.
It did not disappoint.

By the end of mile 11, I was struggling again. Really struggling.  The alert in my ear that tells me my average pace was getting slower and slower each time.  I knew now that I would not make my goal of 2 hours and 30 minutes.  If I sped up just a little, I would.  But I just couldn't speed up.  In fact, maybe I should walk?  This is when Stacey Smith kicked in.  I thought about her.  I thought about her family.  I thought about the fact that she will not quit.  She CANNOT quit.  I tried to adopt some of her spirit.  The mantra for mile 11 and some of mile 12 became: If Stacey can't quit, then neither can I.  Over and over. I did not walk.

Mile 12 was the Angel Mile.  Good lord.  My friends who had run this race warned me about this mile, but it still blindsided me.  This mile, instead of a patient mile, is supported by families who have lost children. At first, I thought, oh angels.  That's nice.
Oh.
I immediately made my way to the side of the road where the families were cheering.  Most offered high fives while holding pictures and posters of their loved angel. I made eye contact with a lot of them.  They were so eager to cheer for us. Another highlight.

Suddenly, there was less than a mile to go!  Wait, how is this race almost over?  I'm having too much fun.  This thought had NEVER gone through my head in ANY race, let alone any RUN before.
The enormous construction sign flashed 1/2 marathoners turn here <-----.  Holy cow.  This is it!  The turn off!!!
For the next 500 feet were walls and bleachers of people.  Arches and arches of balloons.  And it was downhill.
The finish chute.
Besides mistaking each balloon arch for the finish line, this was THE highlight of the race.
Everyone cheering, the music was loud, and I was smiling!

Despite not making my goal, I still shaved 18 minutes off my last half marathon time.
I am not mad at it.

A year ago this week, I decided to try to add running to my morning walks.  It wasn't pretty.  Just to that hydrant.  Now to that stop light.
Today I ran my second half marathon in 5 months.
I feel like a different person because of running.
The only reason I completed the race today is due to a wild imagination, a moderately stubborn streak, and SUPER supportive friends.
This quote by Eleanor Roosevelt struck a nerve with me this past week.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

Level Up

Still going.

Still running.

But we're at a new level this round.

I got to the top of the scaffolding at the finish line of the half marathon in May.  During that race, though, I got hit by a bunch of barrels and was, like, see-through and had...like, well, only one life left....  OK, OK, I don't remember that much about Donkey Kong, but if I could play the metaphor out, it'd be summarized with - - I have made it to the next level.

I'm back to training (for *half* of the Columbus Marathon in October).  

I'm stronger.
I'm faster.
I'm less fearful.
And it's exciting!

And.... it's totally part of my life.

Friday, my co-worker asked, "You got plans tonight, Joyce?"

My response:  "Let's see, tomorrow is 9 miles, so that means tonight I have to go to the grocery store for some bananas, yogurt, Gatorade, PowerGel, do some laundry, and get my gear ready for tomorrow's run."

Co-worker: *blank stare*

Yeah.

I'm that person now.

And I love it.

I texted my friend this scenario.
How cuckoo am I??
The response:  You got a passion.

So in this new level, I've gotten a little faster, I have a little more ambition, and passion.

I'm OK with this.

So the 9 miles this morning....
It was a great run.
There were TONS of long distance dudes on the trail getting their long runs in this morning.
I was with the big dogs out there.


Some highlights:

• My turn-around point

I love the Lane Avenue bridge.

• I got to give an awkward thumbs up to a hero of mine.  

• The sunrise.

(No picture. That one was just for me this time.)

Race Day.

Race day was a dream-like mix of excitement and exhilaration with just a half-cup of horror and distress.

I have been looking forward to this day for five months.  I had imagined it at least 4-5 times a day since I signed up in January.  And it was even more than I could have realized.

Saturday.  5am. Woke up, tried to cram oatmeal into a very nervous stomach, and tried to remember everything I needed. All of these three things were a bit difficult.  Packing the night before was hardly productive as "race brain" had taken over.  Decisions were impossible.  Knowing the answer to anything was not going to happen.

The first fun of the day was the 6am arrival of my high school friend ACP from Chicago!  We hadn't seen each other since Thanksgiving.  What a fun and special addition to such a great day.

Natalie and Stacey were not far behind and we were off to the race.

The day was beautiful.  Perfect weather.  A little breezey.  OK, REALLY breezy.  After checking bags and multiple attempts at bib attachment (*i have no torso*), it was time to head over to the corral starting gates.

Walking to the corral and eventually up to the starting line felt like we were rock stars marching to battle.  I know that analogy does not make sense.  But I have no better way to explain it. We were a few waves back from the start.  So we got to hear the horn go off twice.  The second horn indicated Natalie's start. She was off!!!!

Our wave collectively slowly marched into starting position.  Music thumped louder.  Cheers and the announcer got louder.  Stacey and I clutched hands and just looked at each other.  This was it. Right now.
The feeling of approaching the roller coaster drop was there again.  And ironically, the song on the speakers urged everyone to put their hands up.

Our horn sounded and we were off. To be honest I really don't remember anything about the first mile.  I remember the sound in my ear indicating mile one and I realized we were in it. We're running a half marathon.  Mile one was over.
Mistake one:  I said to myself:  "Only 12 miles left."

I knew where some of my friends were going to be along the way, so I really looked forward to each of those areas.
My arms and shoulders hurt today and I'm pretty sure it's from frantically waving at everyone I saw.  So honored that people came to watch me run by for 2 seconds.  Some people were at multiple points on the course and that to me was like some sort of magic!!!  How'd you do that!??!

We got to mile 5 without much of a hitch.
The worst part of the first 5 miles was the dodge and weave of all of the walkers on the course. The zig zagging really took its toll on me by mile 6.  I tried to take a sip of something at each water station, which were a little further than a mile apart.   By 6.5 or 7, something wasn't right.  Nothing hurt, but I suddenly panicked - I was not going to be able to do this.  I didn't know what to do.
I said out loud, "Stacey..."
She looked at me.  "Joyce, it's not going to be easy."
Joyce, "Right."
Stacey, "There's going to be pain, and we have to get through this."
Joyce, "Yes."
Stacey, "Take a few deep breaths, slow down for a little bit and let's go."
Joyce, "Yep."

I tried to do what she said.  And it worked at first.
But then I slowly lost it again.  It wasn't working.  I slowed way down.  I could see Stacey in her purple for a little while, but then she was gone.
Worst part was I couldn't find the tough mental voice I usually use to talk myself through these things.
I was blank.
The only thing I could think about was finding my friends waiting along the way to ask them what to do.
When it dawned on me....
This is my race.
This is MY race.
I took a few deep breaths and kicked into gear again.

By mile 8, I was CRAVING the next water station.  The "Marathon Fueling Station" signs were some of the best sights on the latter half of course.
((Looking back in the light of today, I realize I wasn't drinking enough water in the early part of the race. I have been training in colder weather.  I'd worn short sleeves only twice during long runs.  Race day was in the mid 60s and was in full on sun and wind.  I had taken too little water and that was the cause for the blank mind, the feeling of malaise, the slow movement. NOW I know.))

The most pain I was feeling was the urge to pee.  Have you ever tried to run when you really had to pee?? But I was soooo thirsty.  Every port-a-john I passed had a line.  I don't know why I wasn't willing to sacrifice 3 minutes of my time.  But it made sense to me back then in the midst of it.  Now I know it probably would've been better to stop and wait in line rather than not want to drink or not to run because i had to pee.

I walked a LOT during mile 9.  It was a desolate part of the course.  I would run a little bit and walk through and beyond the water station.  Eventually figuring out that I'd get more to drink if I grabbed a cup in each hand.

At the end of a water station at mile 10, I saw them.  Friends!  They had hilarious signs.  They were ready to high five me and kick me into gear.  I may have high fived Jake at the end of the line a little too hard in an effort to pump myself up.
Move it.
Almost immediately after them, I saw another friend.  I ran over to her, and tried to say to her without other spectators hearing me, Alexa, I'm struggling.
She looked at me and said firmly,
"No.  You are awesome.  You Go.  Right now."

I don't know what it was about her tone of voice.  But she meant it.  And I did go.

I knew I was close to the last 2 miles.  Because every single spectator was telling me that.  I was really looking forward to the last bit at Schiller park.  Such a pretty park.  I knew that just beyond the park was the final push up High Street to the finish.

The final turn was very exciting.  I love the neighborhood.  There were a lot of DJs spinning their *funky beats*.  I finally just let loose and started singing along with the songs.
The emotion was building.  I had struggled through probably the worst run I've ever had and now I was this close to the end of my journey.

One of the spectators yelled out, "Yay!!! GO 2:50 pace group!!!"
Interesting, since I started out with 2:40.
I had really slowed down.
The pacer slowly passed by and I gasped.
It was Elisa.
It's Elisa from my 15k blog post!!

I wanted to call out to her,
"I'm sorry for misspelling your name!"
"I'm sorry for not running with you from the beginning!"
"Thank you for what you did for me back in April!"
or
"I really like your sequinned skirt!!"

But I couldn't say anything.
She, as I remember her from the race in April, called out to the group,
"We are less than one mile away from the finish!!!  How long have you been training!!??"
5 MONTHS! is what I thought to myself.

She continued,
"You OWE it to yourself to go hard right now.  Finish strong.  Look at the finish line!!  Do you see it!???"

I did see it.  I saw the flags.  I heard the music.
We were getting close.
She turned around to make sure everyone was with her.
That's when she saw me and squealed.
"GIRLFRIEND!!!!!"
I immediately leaned into her and burst into tears.
This was it.
This was the final push.
"YOU'RE DOING IT!! YOU'RE DOING GREAT!!"

Almost at the finish, I saw ACP and Linda ready to watch me cross the finish line.

I crossed that line and took two deep breaths and just shook my head.
I did it.
That's when I heard JOYCE BUCKLEY!!!!
It was one of the magic spectators with their multiple locations!!
Mary Kay waited for me at the finish line.
I made a straight line over to her and collapsed into her hug and burst into tears.
"Joyce, you did it!!!  YOU DID IT!!!!"


Cap City Half Marathon 2013 from joyce buckley on Vimeo.

it's time

race week is here.
this is a surreal, exciting, miserable, nervous, absent minded, emotion filled week.

i cannot sit still.

every minute of this week has been focused on saturday.
my whole thought process is geared toward prep.

eating
dressing
sleeping
cleaning
drinking
all of it is about how it will affect saturday.

i'm making sure everyone coming into town, everyone coming to the race, everyone who knows me has the info they need.

last night, we drove the course.
it's very long. and very beautiful.
i know what to expect and where to expect it.

two days are left and then i take my final exam.
hell, i've been studying for this test for over five months.

eleventy

today's scheduled run was 11 miles.  

everything after today will be decrease and taper in preparation for me to be at my strongest for the race. so as you can imagine, i really couldn't wait to get this distance out of the way. partly to not be scared of it anymore.  and partly to see how i'll potentially do on the big day.

as i got geared up this morning, i was really nervous.  so much so that i was pretty shaky.  

i tried to focus on the normal routine i do before long runs.  

oatmeal. coffee. banana. prepare gear. charge phone. charge ipod. 

out the door.

i felt fresh and really strong for the first 8 miles!

it was very exciting.

with race time quickly approaching, spectators are solidifying their plans. 

since i know most of the people planning to show up, i was able to imagine them on the sidelines.  some will make me laugh.  some will make me cry.  and ALL will make me feel like i can run the whole distance.

during the early part of the run, a text popped up on my phone.  even though i couldn't read it, i saw it was from my friend, amy, and thus knew what it said.  

she is constantly telling me:  you are a distance runner!!

this became my mantra today.

tiring out.

"you are a distance runner"

questioning if i could really do this distance

"you are a distance runner"

what's that pain?

"you are a distance runner"

((my friends have TRULY been my motivators and cheerleaders))

i got to about 8.5 miles and started to struggle.  

there's a point on the running trail where it overlaps some residential streets and at 9.8 miles i stopped and stood on the corner of an intersection.  i just stood there.  and cried.

and thought of my friend nicci who told me a few weeks ago she did the same during a very long run.

i was scared i wouldn't be able to start up again.

i was angry i had stopped at all.

i was frustrated that i stopped with little more than a mile to go.

that's when i took a deep breath and started off again.  

after only a couple minutes, i almost stopped again.  

in fact, i slowed down but actually yelled out "NO!" and kept going.

i checked my gps almost every 10 seconds.  

as SOON as that bugger switched to 11 miles, i got to walk again.

so while it wasn't the triumphant run i had hoped for, i did the distance i had set out to do.

the countdown is nearing single digits!!

if you people don't have anything planned for next saturday, come cheer me on!!

it's becoming obvious i'm gonna need all the help i can get.

here's the MAP of the course!!