routine

training has become routine.  not in the dreadful meaning of the word though.  but in that i know what to expect.  even when going for a distance i've never run before, i know what to expect.
in a way, this bi-product of training ideally helps me *attempt* to focus on other things. the routine will simply take over.

so while today's ten mile run hovered over my head this week, i wasn't too worried.  i've achieved new distances before.  i could do this one.

well.
i did it. but routine did not take over.

i felt every step.  i remember every method of self-talk i used to get through it.
and i almost stopped. it was the closest i've ever come to stopping.

that point of no return came when i was 7 miles in.  everything was hurting.  water was almost on empty.  the detour to get water ended in padlocked bathrooms.  i thought through my options.  stop and walk for 3 plus miles? stop and call someone to pick me up?  any option i thought of became not an option.

and i kept going.

i pulled out some old motivators:
"your legs aren't quitting, your head is."

"you were strong enough to get this far, you're strong enough to keep going."

"just x more miles, you can do x miles easy."

even music wasn't working.
an ol' favorite kicked in a little over a mile and a half out: titanium.
that usually perks me up and keeps me running forever.
as soon as the familiar picked guitar intro started, i ripped my headphones out of my ears.
first time i've ever run without music and it was at a miserable part of the run.

at one mile left, a girl who was running toward me and gave me a thumbs up.  most just wave or look straight ahead.  i've had one other runner give me a thumbs up and it was the best "yes i can!" moment.  this girl gave me a thumbs up and a nod and i burst into tears.  finish this!

the last half mile was a constant push. a constant talk.
i'm not even sure what i was doing is considered a pace, but i was moving forward.

i got to the last bit and felt my gps vibrate notifying me of 10 miles.

i bent over and rested on the fence right next to that ten mile mark which now has some of my sweat and tears on it.


olentangy trail:
i have fallen deeply in love with the running trail.
today i saw more of it than i've ever seen.
and it was a beautiful day.
here are some highlights: