Columbus (Half) Marathon & Eleanor Roosevelt

This race had a more serious undertone than my first one in May.  For a few reasons.

1.) I'm not really a "newbie" anymore.  I have a few races under my belt and now it's not just about finishing.  It's about time.  It's about the training.  It's about pushing myself.

2.) Since it's sponsored by the Children's Hospital, it has something called Patient Miles.  Each mile of the race is "owned" by a different patient of the hospital.  Some are very sick.  Some come out and cheer the marathon anyway.

3.) Stacey's sick again.  I found out recently and have felt so helpless.  I decided to take her on as motivation to do my very best.

Despite these heavier points, today's race was an absolute blast.

The waiting around in the starting corrals felt just about arctic.  I had MANY layers on ready to discard and was still chilly.
Out of the blue, my friend Sarah happened to be in my same start wave and also happened to be standing right next to me!!  It helped to have a friend to chat out the nerves.  Also, it helped to have a friend to ask, "You think I should take my sweatshirt off yet?  How about now??"

We started in the third wave.  I hope the feeling of going up the hill on a roller coaster at race starting lines never goes away cuz it is becoming my favorite!  There were fireworks for each wave of starts.  The most nerves came while waiting in our corral and hearing the first set of fireworks go off.  Oh man.  It's time!

The first mile came and went and I don't think I stopped smiling.  It's here!  The Columbus Marathon!
There is also a slight chance that my smile was just stuck that way because of the frigid temps.  Who can tell.

The course was beautiful.  We ran 3 miles east - right into the sunrise.

By mile 4, I was still smiling, but felt a little tired.  I MAY have (meaning: DID) started too fast.  But I really didn't care today.  I was so happy race day was here. My main goal was to get to the tracker marker so everyone would see how fast I could run 10k.  :)  I know that's not a very good race plan.  But it kept me running.

By the time I crossed the 10k tracking point, I was feeling alright!  Crossing made me think of everyone who would see that alert.  It made me smile thinking of everyone. (Smiling is the theme?)  I felt completely supported and cheered for by my friends.  It didn't hurt that the entire course was LINED with spectators. Packed! Anytime I needed a pick-me-up, I'd turn the volume down on my headphones and listen to the cheers.  They were constant.

At mile 7, I saw Jim.



A large group gathered around him and people were patting him on the back, shaking his hand, cheering for him. How exhausting and exhilarating to run a marathon with everyone doing that!  But I did it to him too.
  Jim!!  It's YOU!!  Congratulations!! <3
He was more than gracious.

At mile 8, I saw MyTeamTriumph - the teams of angels who push a disabled athlete in their wheelchair.  I had considered doing this with them next year.  After seeing the team of runners, I will most definitely do this with them next year.
Captain Lucas ran with a group of about 7 or 8 angels.  One came from behind and tapped me on the shoulder and said, "We got a wheelchair on your right."
I stepped to the side and saw Lucas.  So excited for him.
"Lucas, you're doing it buddy!!!!"  He turned his head and smiled at me.  Highlight of the race.

At mile 9, I saw my sis!
Now, I don't know if it was the cold, if I was having some sort of breakdown, or if I was just simply enjoying the moment - but I had no words.  I saw her off to the side, ran up and hugged her, and took off.  No words.  From me?  Another highlight of the race.

At mile 10, I was starting to struggle.  I knew I had friends at Schiller Park.  If I could get to Schiller Park and show them how good I felt, I'd be alright.  It took forever to get to Schiller Park.  And I swear every house along the way was cooking breakfast.  I could smell it.  I'm hungry.  Was that toast???

At nearly mile 11, I saw Sarah and Amy.  Thank goodness.
I couldn't wait to see their sign.
It did not disappoint.

By the end of mile 11, I was struggling again. Really struggling.  The alert in my ear that tells me my average pace was getting slower and slower each time.  I knew now that I would not make my goal of 2 hours and 30 minutes.  If I sped up just a little, I would.  But I just couldn't speed up.  In fact, maybe I should walk?  This is when Stacey Smith kicked in.  I thought about her.  I thought about her family.  I thought about the fact that she will not quit.  She CANNOT quit.  I tried to adopt some of her spirit.  The mantra for mile 11 and some of mile 12 became: If Stacey can't quit, then neither can I.  Over and over. I did not walk.

Mile 12 was the Angel Mile.  Good lord.  My friends who had run this race warned me about this mile, but it still blindsided me.  This mile, instead of a patient mile, is supported by families who have lost children. At first, I thought, oh angels.  That's nice.
Oh.
I immediately made my way to the side of the road where the families were cheering.  Most offered high fives while holding pictures and posters of their loved angel. I made eye contact with a lot of them.  They were so eager to cheer for us. Another highlight.

Suddenly, there was less than a mile to go!  Wait, how is this race almost over?  I'm having too much fun.  This thought had NEVER gone through my head in ANY race, let alone any RUN before.
The enormous construction sign flashed 1/2 marathoners turn here <-----.  Holy cow.  This is it!  The turn off!!!
For the next 500 feet were walls and bleachers of people.  Arches and arches of balloons.  And it was downhill.
The finish chute.
Besides mistaking each balloon arch for the finish line, this was THE highlight of the race.
Everyone cheering, the music was loud, and I was smiling!

Despite not making my goal, I still shaved 18 minutes off my last half marathon time.
I am not mad at it.

A year ago this week, I decided to try to add running to my morning walks.  It wasn't pretty.  Just to that hydrant.  Now to that stop light.
Today I ran my second half marathon in 5 months.
I feel like a different person because of running.
The only reason I completed the race today is due to a wild imagination, a moderately stubborn streak, and SUPER supportive friends.
This quote by Eleanor Roosevelt struck a nerve with me this past week.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

Level Up

Still going.

Still running.

But we're at a new level this round.

I got to the top of the scaffolding at the finish line of the half marathon in May.  During that race, though, I got hit by a bunch of barrels and was, like, see-through and had...like, well, only one life left....  OK, OK, I don't remember that much about Donkey Kong, but if I could play the metaphor out, it'd be summarized with - - I have made it to the next level.

I'm back to training (for *half* of the Columbus Marathon in October).  

I'm stronger.
I'm faster.
I'm less fearful.
And it's exciting!

And.... it's totally part of my life.

Friday, my co-worker asked, "You got plans tonight, Joyce?"

My response:  "Let's see, tomorrow is 9 miles, so that means tonight I have to go to the grocery store for some bananas, yogurt, Gatorade, PowerGel, do some laundry, and get my gear ready for tomorrow's run."

Co-worker: *blank stare*

Yeah.

I'm that person now.

And I love it.

I texted my friend this scenario.
How cuckoo am I??
The response:  You got a passion.

So in this new level, I've gotten a little faster, I have a little more ambition, and passion.

I'm OK with this.

So the 9 miles this morning....
It was a great run.
There were TONS of long distance dudes on the trail getting their long runs in this morning.
I was with the big dogs out there.


Some highlights:

• My turn-around point

I love the Lane Avenue bridge.

• I got to give an awkward thumbs up to a hero of mine.  

• The sunrise.

(No picture. That one was just for me this time.)

Race Day.

Race day was a dream-like mix of excitement and exhilaration with just a half-cup of horror and distress.

I have been looking forward to this day for five months.  I had imagined it at least 4-5 times a day since I signed up in January.  And it was even more than I could have realized.

Saturday.  5am. Woke up, tried to cram oatmeal into a very nervous stomach, and tried to remember everything I needed. All of these three things were a bit difficult.  Packing the night before was hardly productive as "race brain" had taken over.  Decisions were impossible.  Knowing the answer to anything was not going to happen.

The first fun of the day was the 6am arrival of my high school friend ACP from Chicago!  We hadn't seen each other since Thanksgiving.  What a fun and special addition to such a great day.

Natalie and Stacey were not far behind and we were off to the race.

The day was beautiful.  Perfect weather.  A little breezey.  OK, REALLY breezy.  After checking bags and multiple attempts at bib attachment (*i have no torso*), it was time to head over to the corral starting gates.

Walking to the corral and eventually up to the starting line felt like we were rock stars marching to battle.  I know that analogy does not make sense.  But I have no better way to explain it. We were a few waves back from the start.  So we got to hear the horn go off twice.  The second horn indicated Natalie's start. She was off!!!!

Our wave collectively slowly marched into starting position.  Music thumped louder.  Cheers and the announcer got louder.  Stacey and I clutched hands and just looked at each other.  This was it. Right now.
The feeling of approaching the roller coaster drop was there again.  And ironically, the song on the speakers urged everyone to put their hands up.

Our horn sounded and we were off. To be honest I really don't remember anything about the first mile.  I remember the sound in my ear indicating mile one and I realized we were in it. We're running a half marathon.  Mile one was over.
Mistake one:  I said to myself:  "Only 12 miles left."

I knew where some of my friends were going to be along the way, so I really looked forward to each of those areas.
My arms and shoulders hurt today and I'm pretty sure it's from frantically waving at everyone I saw.  So honored that people came to watch me run by for 2 seconds.  Some people were at multiple points on the course and that to me was like some sort of magic!!!  How'd you do that!??!

We got to mile 5 without much of a hitch.
The worst part of the first 5 miles was the dodge and weave of all of the walkers on the course. The zig zagging really took its toll on me by mile 6.  I tried to take a sip of something at each water station, which were a little further than a mile apart.   By 6.5 or 7, something wasn't right.  Nothing hurt, but I suddenly panicked - I was not going to be able to do this.  I didn't know what to do.
I said out loud, "Stacey..."
She looked at me.  "Joyce, it's not going to be easy."
Joyce, "Right."
Stacey, "There's going to be pain, and we have to get through this."
Joyce, "Yes."
Stacey, "Take a few deep breaths, slow down for a little bit and let's go."
Joyce, "Yep."

I tried to do what she said.  And it worked at first.
But then I slowly lost it again.  It wasn't working.  I slowed way down.  I could see Stacey in her purple for a little while, but then she was gone.
Worst part was I couldn't find the tough mental voice I usually use to talk myself through these things.
I was blank.
The only thing I could think about was finding my friends waiting along the way to ask them what to do.
When it dawned on me....
This is my race.
This is MY race.
I took a few deep breaths and kicked into gear again.

By mile 8, I was CRAVING the next water station.  The "Marathon Fueling Station" signs were some of the best sights on the latter half of course.
((Looking back in the light of today, I realize I wasn't drinking enough water in the early part of the race. I have been training in colder weather.  I'd worn short sleeves only twice during long runs.  Race day was in the mid 60s and was in full on sun and wind.  I had taken too little water and that was the cause for the blank mind, the feeling of malaise, the slow movement. NOW I know.))

The most pain I was feeling was the urge to pee.  Have you ever tried to run when you really had to pee?? But I was soooo thirsty.  Every port-a-john I passed had a line.  I don't know why I wasn't willing to sacrifice 3 minutes of my time.  But it made sense to me back then in the midst of it.  Now I know it probably would've been better to stop and wait in line rather than not want to drink or not to run because i had to pee.

I walked a LOT during mile 9.  It was a desolate part of the course.  I would run a little bit and walk through and beyond the water station.  Eventually figuring out that I'd get more to drink if I grabbed a cup in each hand.

At the end of a water station at mile 10, I saw them.  Friends!  They had hilarious signs.  They were ready to high five me and kick me into gear.  I may have high fived Jake at the end of the line a little too hard in an effort to pump myself up.
Move it.
Almost immediately after them, I saw another friend.  I ran over to her, and tried to say to her without other spectators hearing me, Alexa, I'm struggling.
She looked at me and said firmly,
"No.  You are awesome.  You Go.  Right now."

I don't know what it was about her tone of voice.  But she meant it.  And I did go.

I knew I was close to the last 2 miles.  Because every single spectator was telling me that.  I was really looking forward to the last bit at Schiller park.  Such a pretty park.  I knew that just beyond the park was the final push up High Street to the finish.

The final turn was very exciting.  I love the neighborhood.  There were a lot of DJs spinning their *funky beats*.  I finally just let loose and started singing along with the songs.
The emotion was building.  I had struggled through probably the worst run I've ever had and now I was this close to the end of my journey.

One of the spectators yelled out, "Yay!!! GO 2:50 pace group!!!"
Interesting, since I started out with 2:40.
I had really slowed down.
The pacer slowly passed by and I gasped.
It was Elisa.
It's Elisa from my 15k blog post!!

I wanted to call out to her,
"I'm sorry for misspelling your name!"
"I'm sorry for not running with you from the beginning!"
"Thank you for what you did for me back in April!"
or
"I really like your sequinned skirt!!"

But I couldn't say anything.
She, as I remember her from the race in April, called out to the group,
"We are less than one mile away from the finish!!!  How long have you been training!!??"
5 MONTHS! is what I thought to myself.

She continued,
"You OWE it to yourself to go hard right now.  Finish strong.  Look at the finish line!!  Do you see it!???"

I did see it.  I saw the flags.  I heard the music.
We were getting close.
She turned around to make sure everyone was with her.
That's when she saw me and squealed.
"GIRLFRIEND!!!!!"
I immediately leaned into her and burst into tears.
This was it.
This was the final push.
"YOU'RE DOING IT!! YOU'RE DOING GREAT!!"

Almost at the finish, I saw ACP and Linda ready to watch me cross the finish line.

I crossed that line and took two deep breaths and just shook my head.
I did it.
That's when I heard JOYCE BUCKLEY!!!!
It was one of the magic spectators with their multiple locations!!
Mary Kay waited for me at the finish line.
I made a straight line over to her and collapsed into her hug and burst into tears.
"Joyce, you did it!!!  YOU DID IT!!!!"


Cap City Half Marathon 2013 from joyce buckley on Vimeo.

it's time

race week is here.
this is a surreal, exciting, miserable, nervous, absent minded, emotion filled week.

i cannot sit still.

every minute of this week has been focused on saturday.
my whole thought process is geared toward prep.

eating
dressing
sleeping
cleaning
drinking
all of it is about how it will affect saturday.

i'm making sure everyone coming into town, everyone coming to the race, everyone who knows me has the info they need.

last night, we drove the course.
it's very long. and very beautiful.
i know what to expect and where to expect it.

two days are left and then i take my final exam.
hell, i've been studying for this test for over five months.

eleventy

today's scheduled run was 11 miles.  

everything after today will be decrease and taper in preparation for me to be at my strongest for the race. so as you can imagine, i really couldn't wait to get this distance out of the way. partly to not be scared of it anymore.  and partly to see how i'll potentially do on the big day.

as i got geared up this morning, i was really nervous.  so much so that i was pretty shaky.  

i tried to focus on the normal routine i do before long runs.  

oatmeal. coffee. banana. prepare gear. charge phone. charge ipod. 

out the door.

i felt fresh and really strong for the first 8 miles!

it was very exciting.

with race time quickly approaching, spectators are solidifying their plans. 

since i know most of the people planning to show up, i was able to imagine them on the sidelines.  some will make me laugh.  some will make me cry.  and ALL will make me feel like i can run the whole distance.

during the early part of the run, a text popped up on my phone.  even though i couldn't read it, i saw it was from my friend, amy, and thus knew what it said.  

she is constantly telling me:  you are a distance runner!!

this became my mantra today.

tiring out.

"you are a distance runner"

questioning if i could really do this distance

"you are a distance runner"

what's that pain?

"you are a distance runner"

((my friends have TRULY been my motivators and cheerleaders))

i got to about 8.5 miles and started to struggle.  

there's a point on the running trail where it overlaps some residential streets and at 9.8 miles i stopped and stood on the corner of an intersection.  i just stood there.  and cried.

and thought of my friend nicci who told me a few weeks ago she did the same during a very long run.

i was scared i wouldn't be able to start up again.

i was angry i had stopped at all.

i was frustrated that i stopped with little more than a mile to go.

that's when i took a deep breath and started off again.  

after only a couple minutes, i almost stopped again.  

in fact, i slowed down but actually yelled out "NO!" and kept going.

i checked my gps almost every 10 seconds.  

as SOON as that bugger switched to 11 miles, i got to walk again.

so while it wasn't the triumphant run i had hoped for, i did the distance i had set out to do.

the countdown is nearing single digits!!

if you people don't have anything planned for next saturday, come cheer me on!!

it's becoming obvious i'm gonna need all the help i can get.

here's the MAP of the course!!

"Well, it's not TEN, is it." Nigel Tufnel

one number has been on my mind for a few days.

sunday morning's mileage.

this will be the LONGEST run until the race.
the next two weeks of training will be tapering.

until then, my stomach is fluttery and my mind is repeating these soundbites:

side effect

decision deficiency

in my regular life, i'm not one to enjoy decisions - easy, difficult, important, trivial - they're all the same to me.

this weakness of mine has been highlighted recently.  

and it's magnified even more as time ticks closer to MAY 4th.

i feel so zoomed in on the half marathon that my brain doesn't have energy for anything else.

while shopping on saturday, i spent 25 minutes staring at t-shirts of various colors. 

what color t-shirt should i buy? this was the most difficult decision i've made in years. 

i was frozen.... over a t-shirt.

yesterday, the kind woman behind the wendy's counter asked me if i wanted butter with my baked potato. i was frozen. butter?  how am i supposed to know. way too much of this lady's and my co-worker's time was taken up to end up with no butter.

i'm sharing this as a cordial cautioning to my friends and to those who will be around me in the next couple of weeks.

please don't ask me to decide.

if you need me to decide, please don't sigh impatiently when it takes me 15 minutes to pick which Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream flavor i'll enjoy. (side note: their banana cajeta is amazing)
don't expect a direct answer if you need me to decide which golden girls episode is my favorite. (side note: 'a little romance' has hilarious one liners - "shrimp?!")

and sweet Stan Brule, please don't let this deficiency of mine get any worse!

Kim and Alyssa (or...How I Ran Fast)

Today was the last "rehearsal" race before the big one in a little over 3 weeks. I don't think I'm supposed to say rehearsal.  It's sports after all.  Practice.  Yeah, practice.

I have to admit, I did not feel prepared for this one.  15k or 9.3 miles.  Yes, I'd run 9 miles before.  Yes, I'd even run 10 miles before - but I struggled with those distances and now it was gonna be around people. The nerves were different this time.  More about the run.  Less about the extras.

Lessons learned from the first rehearsal race:
I knew exactly when to leave my house,
where to park,
what to bring,
and what to do with my glasses if I brought them by accident.

Packing a bag made my life so much easier.
Even if all I had packed were ketchup packets and my book club book, the bag still would have been perfect.  It was like a safety net.

I arrived at the race site earlier than last time and had plenty of time to gear up.  It seemed like fewer people than last time.  Maybe it was more organized.  Or maybe I knew what I was doing.

I was second guessing my decision to wear shorts and a tee shirt.  It was supposed to be in the 60s but it felt chilly to me.

Time to line up.
The usual techno music pumped through the speakers.
This time I scoped out a pacer.  These Marathon-in-Training pacers are coaches who ideally run at a steady pace.  I've heard about these peeps, but have been a loner while running. Since I've had trouble with my GPS keeping true pace and I was tired of checking it so often, a pacer seemed like a good thing to try.

This time, no one near me heard the countdown or the horn go off.  We just started moving.
Oh, I guess we're going!!

First loop of three, I stayed pretty close to the scoped out pacers.  The down side is that it's crowded near the pacers.  The upside is, after the first mile, the one holding the pace sign turned around and said, WE JUST RAN OUR FIRST MILE!!!  And she high-fived a bunch of people near her.  OK.  This could be fun.  Running with a cheerleader.  Once in a while one of the two of them would drop back and cheer through the crowd.
"We got this!" She said to the girl next to me.
"OOOH, I love your shoes!" She said to me.
It was really fun to run near someone so excited.

Near the end of the first loop, the pacer shouted out, if you're running a 5k, now is the time to give it everything you've got!!!!
Everyone cheered.  Except me.
I had two more loops.  6 more miles!  Woo-hoo.  No. Not woo-hoo.

At the start of the second loop, there were only a few of us.
The pacer dropped back by me, "You're doing great. You feeling OK?"
"I'm good!" Thumbs up.
We introduced ourselves since we had quite a ways to go together.
Kim and Alyssa.
They took turns holding the pace sign and coming back and checking in.
They let everyone run their race and checked back once in a while - usually near the water stations.

As I neared the end of the second loop, I had doubts.
I had doubts about finishing this race.
I had doubts about how I was going to run 13 miles in May.
I was struggling.

That's when I heard, "Yeah, Joyce!!!"
It was my friend Kortney on the sideline!!!  I found out after the fact that she was at the last race.
"Hey Kort!!!"
It's amazing what someone shouting my name and clapping their hands in my general direction does for my will.
(lesson learned: every single run has a point where I have doubts about my abilities and every single run, I run right past them)

Crossing the end of loop two with Kim and Alyssa, was super fun.  Everyone knew them.  Everyone joked with them and clapped for them.  So in a way, by proxy, they clapped for me!

At the start of the third and final loop was a water station.  Alyssa dropped back by me.  "Have you had water?"
"Last stop I did."
"Keep taking water, it'll help your blood pump easier."
The ladies stopped at each water station briefly. Knowing that they were stopping gave me confidence to stop and sip a little as I needed and not have to splash it all over me.
I sipped and threw the cup into the trash box. They both looked at me.  I nodded.  Let's do this.  Last lap.

Right after we got going, I saw Kortney again.
"Good job, Joyce!"
Again, it just does wonders for my motivation.  Yes.

(Here I am with my pacers.  I really need to work on my face in case of surprise photos.)

And again, Kim and Alyssa checked in.
"You're doing great.  You feel OK? We're gonna keep checking to be sure you're with us."
"I'm here!"

Last loop.
I felt every step of this one.
I fell WAY back from the pacers.
I could see them off in the distance, but there was no way I would be able to finish with them.

I was on my own.  The countdown for myself began.
Two miles left.  Two miles!  You can do two miles.

Having done this loop a total of 5 times over the last couple of weeks, I knew exactly where the finish line was at all times.

One mile left.
Kim and Alyssa are no longer in sight.

Under the last bridge and I heard the echoes of music thumping and the announcer congratulating finishers.

That's when something amazing happened.

I looked up and saw Kim running toward me.
She came back for me.
Last third of a mile.
"You got this, we're so close."
"I got this."

She asked, "Is this your first 15k?"
"Yep, first one."

She started clapping and cheering.
"WE GOTTA PERSONAL RECORD RIGHT HERE!!"

"DISTANCE PR RIGHT HERE!!!"

"You ran such a good race today! You kept up a great pace!  You're doing so good!"

As we got closer to the finish line, Kim and Alyssa were on either side of me.
Kim continued to cheer and clap for me.
"DISTANCE PR! RIGHT HERE!! PERSONAL RECORD!!"
That's when the announcer heard her.
Close to the finish line, over the speakers, I hear, "She's finishing her first 15k today and she did it in under 2 hours!"
The crowd cheered so loud - I swear I heard the 'Rudy' theme in my head.

I finished with a huge smile on my face and over 15 minutes faster than I thought I would.

I thanked them at least 40 times.  They were the most ideal running coaches.

"We'll see you at the Cap City Half!!!!"

Checked my pace, it was faster than I've ever run.

30 days

Holy *expletive*

routine

training has become routine.  not in the dreadful meaning of the word though.  but in that i know what to expect.  even when going for a distance i've never run before, i know what to expect.
in a way, this bi-product of training ideally helps me *attempt* to focus on other things. the routine will simply take over.

so while today's ten mile run hovered over my head this week, i wasn't too worried.  i've achieved new distances before.  i could do this one.

well.
i did it. but routine did not take over.

i felt every step.  i remember every method of self-talk i used to get through it.
and i almost stopped. it was the closest i've ever come to stopping.

that point of no return came when i was 7 miles in.  everything was hurting.  water was almost on empty.  the detour to get water ended in padlocked bathrooms.  i thought through my options.  stop and walk for 3 plus miles? stop and call someone to pick me up?  any option i thought of became not an option.

and i kept going.

i pulled out some old motivators:
"your legs aren't quitting, your head is."

"you were strong enough to get this far, you're strong enough to keep going."

"just x more miles, you can do x miles easy."

even music wasn't working.
an ol' favorite kicked in a little over a mile and a half out: titanium.
that usually perks me up and keeps me running forever.
as soon as the familiar picked guitar intro started, i ripped my headphones out of my ears.
first time i've ever run without music and it was at a miserable part of the run.

at one mile left, a girl who was running toward me and gave me a thumbs up.  most just wave or look straight ahead.  i've had one other runner give me a thumbs up and it was the best "yes i can!" moment.  this girl gave me a thumbs up and a nod and i burst into tears.  finish this!

the last half mile was a constant push. a constant talk.
i'm not even sure what i was doing is considered a pace, but i was moving forward.

i got to the last bit and felt my gps vibrate notifying me of 10 miles.

i bent over and rested on the fence right next to that ten mile mark which now has some of my sweat and tears on it.


olentangy trail:
i have fallen deeply in love with the running trail.
today i saw more of it than i've ever seen.
and it was a beautiful day.
here are some highlights:

Ten Kays

Today's race was all about practice.

Practice for the big one in May.

I couldn't help thinking that as I laid awake at 2:30 last night.  Then again at 4.  

If my nerves for this race are only a fraction of May's half marathon, then I will not sleep or eat May 1-3.  

A lot of the nerves were about where to park.  Where to go.  Will I bring everything?  Will I bring too much?

I had a nightmare that I accidentally wore my glasses during the run and tripped and fell and broke my glasses.  ??  I think that was about my anxiety of being prepared.

The morning was a little chilly.  OK, a LOT chilly. 

I found parking. Geared up.  Walked over to COSI along with 2000 of my closest friends.  It was a silent walk.  Eerily quiet.  Felt like everyone was nervous.

And I was cold.

Oh good god.  I'm freezing.  

I'll warm up when I start running?

Luckily the museum was open and everyone huddled around the pendulum waiting for the time to tick closer to race time.

I started reading signs around the museum.  Wait, how can I read signs??  Why can I see??

My nightmare had come true.  I had my glasses on.  I forgot to put my glasses in the car!  

It was too close to start time to run back.  What am I supposed to do with my glasses???

UGH!

I checked pockets.  Too loose.  Too small. 

Oh brother.  Wear them??

I wandered away from the pendulum.

I wanted to get going.  10 minutes until start time.

"Hey, Joyce."

"DAVE!!!!  YOU'RE HERE!!!!"

I ran into a friend I didn't think would be there.

In the middle of 2000 people, we ran into each other.

"DAVEIHAVEMYGLASSESIDON'TKNOWWHATTODOSHOULDIWEARTHEM??!!!"

As always, his calm voice offered solace.  

"I'll just put them in my bag."

Oh.  Right.  OK.

Seeing Dave really helped me calm down. 

He reminded me this is all about practice for the big race. 

Everyone started inching toward the doors.  It was time to line up.

The flags outside were really blowing hard.  

The inflatable arch signaled the start and finish line.

House of Pain blared on the speakers.  "Jump around!  Jump around!"

It was time to start.

Dave and I parted. "Good luck!"  He would finish about a half hour ahead of me.

I found a pace marker that sounded about right.  I'll stand here.

The countdown began.

House of Pain was still yelling.

All my gear was queued up. iPod? check.  gps? check.

Jump Around!!!  Jump up, jump up, and get down!!!

3-2-1! 

The horn sounded.

Everyone surged toward the inflatable arch.  

Then we stopped.  Then we surged.  Then everyone slowly walked.

I had that feeling when I go up the hill on the roller coaster. 

I know exactly what's on the other side of that inflatable arch.  And it was coming slowly.

Then we were off.  

My legs felt fresh.  

No soreness. 

I looked at my gps at about 1/2 mile.  I was running WAY too fast.  I knew this was going to happen.

Slow.  Down.

I want to be able to finish the race!  Not be zonked and have to crawl.  

Slow.  DOWN!

At about a mile and half, there was a traffic jam.

What IS this!?!?  

It was the first water station.  I looked at my gps and noted where we were.  I was going to run this 5k loop twice and didn't need water now, but I knew it would be exactly where I'd need it second time around.  

First loop:

There were some HILLS!

some were short and steep.  some were long and steep.  some were long and not so steep.  

But there were some HILLS!

Yeah, that reminds me - I'm gonna need to train on some hills soon.

The route would have been beautiful if it was a little later in the year.  

We ran along the streets and trails that lined the river.  

Without the blooms of the trees, it was a bit desolate.  

The route winded enough that sometimes I could see people way way ahead of me and at the same time, I could see people way way behind me.  

At one point, I looked at the trail behind and only saw about 11 people.

So, you're telling me, I'm in place #1,989???

Just keep running.  Keep your pace.

Repeat.

As the first loop finished, the flags and the arch were once again in sight.  The techno music pumped through the speakers as the announcer repeated - keep going, doing great, stay to the right.

Second loop:

Pretty sure there are some hills coming.  

All I kept my mind on was that water station I saw way back when.

It was almost time to take my GU.

The water station was in sight.  I eyed my guy.  

I took the cup.

THANK YOU!!!

I may have yelled too loud. (headphones were in)

This water is blue.

Oh, god, this water is Gatorade.

I drink plenty on my training runs.  

Out of water bottles.  

This was a dixie cup.

With blue Gatorade.

I tried to sip. 

Blue Gatorade splashed all over my face and sweatshirt.

I tried again.

Too much went in my mouth and I choked and I almost threw up.  

OK, I quit the blue Gatorade.

Now my countdown to myself began.

2 miles left.  You can do two miles.  

Two miles is easy.

You can do 2 miles.

A steep, long hill.  OK. Got this.

People stopped to walk it.  

I refuse to stop.

I plowed up that hill. 

I will not walk.  I will not stop.

Forward.

Go.

Ugh.

My self talk is just syllables now.

Almost to the top and I realize I'm getting lapped by the faster runners doing the 15k.

Little dude SHOOTS to the top of the hill I felt like all my achievement in conquering this hill was just smacked down.
I look at the girl next to me.

"Holy Crap!"

We laugh and finish the hill together.

I can hear the music and the speaker guy again.  Half a mile.  

Got this!!!

Half a MILE!!!

The flags and inflatable arch are in view again.

This time, I don't take my eyes off the arch.

FINISH!!!!

And now I'm the proud owner of one of these.

Never had one of these before!!!

One more practice race (15k) in two weeks.  

And then....the big one in 40 days on May 4th.

limits.

Go Beyond Your LIMIT was a phrase/mantra i threw around when i first started training.

mostly cuz of this commercial:





yeah, yeah, i went beyond my limits when i got off the couch and started running. 
yeah, yeah, i signed up for a half marathon without a reasonable amount of experience.
yeah, yeah, i ran 5 miles - further than i'd ever run before.

but this phrase has kicked into high gear with me this week.

the mileage is increasing.  the workouts are getting longer.

and my body hurts. 

my legs ache....all the time. different parts of my legs hurt nearly every day.

it's wearing on me.

it's exciting to get those large miles in.  but it's not fun to come home from those runs and hardly be able to walk my dog for a few days or do much more than put my feet up and nap with a quilt.

but this week, it dawned on me.....

 

aches and pains are a limit.

exhaustion is a limit.

doubt is a limit.

there will always be new limits.
the key is:

find your limits. then exceed them.

gu.

for those of you who don't know what gu is, i googled it for you:: GU is an energy gel designed to be quickly and easily digestible so it can be eaten during endurance events, especially long distance running and cycling.

i'm getting up there in mileage, so before i collapse on the olentangy trail, i need some nutrition to make sure i can make it home.  last week, i tried the Clif Shot Bloks.

while they were indeed tasty, i found them cumbersome, quite a big bite, and a lot of effort afterward to clean them out of my teeth. (also found out AFTER the run, that for maximum effect i should have taken THREE! at a time - too much).

since gu will be the supplement offered at the cap city half, it was suggested i give gu a try during training.

after hearing horror stories about the texture, horrible taste, gagging, and the flavors, i was a bit terrified of taking a gu at the 45 minute mark.

i went with the vanilla bean flavor.  it was recommended and contained caffeine!

at the 45 minute mark, i bit off that top, and gulped it down like a champ in 3 swigs.

while it wasn't the worst thing i've ever tasted, it wasn't necessarily pleasant.

luckily, i was on an unoccupied stretch of the trail and was able to let off a loud, "eeugh..."

took another swig and let out another, "UUUGHHHH..."



chased it with some water.

whoa.

the texture combined with the vanilla bean flavor made it seem like slightly melted cookie dough.

not the refreshing uplift i'm looking for around mile 4.

next week will be strawberry banana.

maybe it'll be like a milk shake.



seven.

today's post is a copy of an email i sent to my friend detailing the 7 mile run i totally crushed today.

"hi amynoie. i did it.
i started out TOTALLY not feeling it.  couldn't get my legs working right.  it's weird, every week it's a different nuisance.  the last couple weeks were my calves.  this week it's my hip joints.
stupid.
the whole first couple of miles i just kept thinking, holy hell, i'm not gonna make it this time.  but it was the - ok, to that tree, ok past that trash can, etc.
then all of the sudden i was at 3.5 and it was time to turn around.
i love the turn around.  love it.
from 4.5 miles and on, i was smiling.  it was the realization - i'm gonna run 7 miles!  i'm gonna do it!!!
i did a gu at 45 minutes.  and maybe that's why i love the run back.
this time i had so much stuff - gu, water bottle, phone, ipod, gloves, hat, etc. i felt like i forgot how to hold my arms.  my shoulders hurt right now.  that's the first time in a long time they've hurt.
also, good gravy, i'm slow.  like SO slow.  the last half mile was misery.  maybe i could have taken another gu? but it was just at the next 45 minute mark and i felt like that was a waste.  but i felt like slow motion..
it's all a learning process i guess.
i'm super excited i did it.
that's a huge number.
but what the heck, they're ALL huge numbers now.
my favorite was when i looked at my gps and i was at 4 miles. my thought was - oh i'm only at 4. ONLY at 4.  😊
no big deal."

dodridge.

running the Olentangy Trail tomorrow.

click the link to follow along from just above the top of the page and following the red line down just past Dodridge St and back home.

7 miles.
do it do it!

fear.

Today's scheduled long run was 6 miles.



I had been super excited all week to get to Saturday.

Reaching the milestones are beyond exciting.
Crossing those first time distances off the list has been some of the more euphoric and proud moments.

That being said, all the excitement came to a screeching halt as I sat down to put on my running shoes. 

and I burst into tears.

The anticipated 6 miles was suddenly terrifying. 

But do you wanna know what I did?

I put on my shoes anyway.

I stood up.
I went outside, and I ran six miles.
I shoved that fear in the face.

Fear is OK, I've decided. Being fear's bitch is not OK.

Side note:: I'm hearing a lot lately from people who say that it's great that I'm doing this and they've always wanted to run distances but they could never do it.
Here's the deal, no, you really will never do it when you say "I could never do it".
But just try it!!
You remember my lazy butt.
You remember my sedentary, couch loving butt.
But then I stood up.
And I just decided.
Just decide!
And then stand up!

Today's record distance also journeyed into new territory: nutrition.
I hadn't even carried water with me yet.  But now it was time to carry water and electrolyte supplements.
I was given these to try and was so excited to be a big time runner with the energy chews.

But....what the heck do I do with 'em??

Good ol' ChrissyD told me she schedules her intake - every 45 minutes, pop a chew.
After being baffled by a simple running app and not being able to combine minute and distance alerts, I decided to take this idea but schedule my intake by distance. 
I decided to pop a chew at 3 miles and again at 5 miles.

What a genius plan. 
.....until my GPS played games with my head.
I got about 3/4 mile from my house and looked at the tracker and realized it hadn't restarted after stopping at the stoplight.

FUUUUUUUUUUUdge.
(only I didn't say fudge.)

I started to panic.
MY SCHEDULE!
MY SCHEDULE FOR CHEWS!
It took about 20 seconds for me to calm down and just start the distance from then.

The first chew came right at one of my favorite songs on the ipod.
I'm not sure how long it's supposed to take to work, but the chew combined with the song, I felt like I could go forever.  And I felt that way for about a half mile.
Looking back at the split times of my half miles on my running tracker, I can see exactly where I popped those chews. My pace quickened just a hair.  However, looking back at the split times, I also discovered that today was one of the more evenly paced runs I've ever had.  I don't know what that means, but I like it.

Since my GPS messed with my head, it also had me end my 6 miles a little ways from the house.  So I walked the rest of the way home.  I was self-conscious about people thinking I had quit and had given up running. 

Not true, people on the street!!

I JUST RAN 6.15 MILES!!!!
(cross it off the list)

music and running pt. 2

More of my favorite music for running.


.
Tron Legacy.  Who knew!? 
Daft Punk = Geniuses.
At 1:42 of this clip, RUN LIKE HELL!
Love.




I'm loving Now Now more more every day day.




Macklemore again. Yeah, that's right.  You gotta problem with that???
Cuz...if you do, I probably can't outrun you, but I can probably run FURTHER than you.
So....
"I'll go so high, my feet won't touch the ground..."




Cutest song ever.




Tanlines. Loving the calypso rhythm, the old school synth, the beat is perfect.




Drop Electric.  Builds and builds. 
In my mind, I go faster and faster. 
In real life, I go the same turtle speed.
But this song makes me feel better about it.




My Jonsi and Sigur Ros obsession continues.
In my mind, the video montage of my training culminating with the race and ultimately my finish will be documented by NBC Sports and this is one of the songs they'll use at the climax moment.
Who are you to judge me!?




Yo.

new shoes! (again)

I'm quickly learning that running is a money suck!

Shoes:
I've already shuffled through my old new pair.

The sole is nice and smooth
My calves are knotted and burning.
Time for new!! (Rest in Peace, Asics, you were good friends to me)

Enter Road Runner.
I spent my lunch hour getting measured; pressure pointed; balanced; and coming to peace with my mis-sized, high arched, one out-turned freak feet.


The end result.

Tomorrow's run will be the true test.

Compression:
In addition to shoes, I bought some new compression sleeves.
Almost more excited about these than the new shoes.

They're supposed to help with recovery and muscle soreness after a run.

I couldn't wait to put them on.

**please note, I do not think this is the most fashionable way to wear them, but I'm not really mad at it**

ryan.

well....ok.

Thank you.

Accidentally read this article today and it made me accidentally cry at my desk.
It just reinforced with me that in such a short time, running has become to mean so much to me.

If you want to know what made me turn into a weepy toddler, it was these words:

So, today I say: Thanks, running. Thank you for making me a stronger person, both physically and mentally. Thanks for helping me stay sane. Thanks for some of the warmest memories I have, thanks for taking me to new places, thanks for introducing me to so many amazing people. Thanks for being there whenever and wherever I need you.
Thanks, universe, for giving me a body that's capable of running. Thanks for nudging me into running in the first place. While we're at it, thanks for making me aware of how much I have to be grateful for.
And thanks, running friends. You know who you are. Really. Thanks.

music and running pt. 1

music is my favorite.
if it were acceptable, and if anyone cared, i'd write about it every day and tell you my various fleeting obsessions and discoveries.

my playlist for running is its own beast.
it is continuously adjusted, deleted from, added to - songs of various speeds and energies.
music during my run is as important to me (if not more) as my shoes or what I'm gonna wear.
abnormal or not, it's become a key motivation for me on my runs.

these are just a handful of songs that i have never skipped or hit next when they play and have almost come to rely on them. 
in addition to these are almost every song sigur ros, jonsi, and m83 have ever made.
more about their influence on me in a future post.


ah, the dark knight. who wouldn't feel energized and super-hero-esque with this music.



the ultimate chick anthem. 



kasabian makes me increase my pace every. single. time.




there are a few how to destroy angels songs on my playlist. trent reznor has always had an effect on me.




when kelis sings 'give me wings to fly', i'm asking for the same thing.





"i know i'm runnin' baby, but i need you now."



silversun pickups.




skrillex has been with me since the very beginning. i heart him.
"yo, skrill, drop it hard!"



i mentioned my current love of macklemore in an earlier post.
there is no way to not smile during this song.




the cliche and typical runners anthem.
i don't care. 
it's cliche for a reason. and i love it.




OK, so i WILL post an m83 song.
i don't have the words to describe what this song (and others of theirs) does to me mid-run.

more later.

Come Here Often?

I can remember lots of things. 

• The day my sister came home from being born at the hospital (and the red swingset I got as payment for this event). 

• My locker combination from high school: 16-2-34. 

• Every phone number from every house I've lived in: 
• (966-8294 Fair Oaks, California)
• (232-1370 Denver, Colorado)
• (394-1541 Arlington Heights, Illinois)

But the one thing I CANNOT remember is that I do NOT look cute feminine human after a run. 
I should NOT try to get that cute boy's attention as I'm leaving the gym.
I should NOT try to smile at him as we cross paths.

Red face.
Sweat in all places.
Swollen eye bags.
Hair in all directions
Boobs SQUASHED flat into a sports bra(s)
And most likely hunched over or walking extra tenderly.

"If being sexy was a crime, I'd be guilty as charged," said me never.

Choice.

This is the dilemma I have every day.

Momentum

Momentum is fading.
I knew it would.
As time sneaks away from that unreal day when I signed up, and the race is still a far speck in time, there's no way to sustain the excitement or momentum.

The urge to turn off the 5:20am alarm clock or to rationalize skipping a day is getting stronger.
I cannot allow this.
Seriously.  I can't.

I started on the weight machines today.
Thanks to the push and instruction of Amynoie and ChrissyD.

It took me two attempts to actually use the weights.
The first attempt, I strutted in with "confidence", looked at the machines, and turned right back around to ride the bike. After two minutes on the bike, I thought, NO, I need strength! I wanna be strong!

So I marched over for a second time and what I had feared actually happened.
I sat down like I knew what I was doing at the shoulder push-up machine. 
Only, I didn't push it up, I tried to push it forward.  Then looked at the weight to be sure it wasn't that heavy.  Yeah..... It wasn't heavy as much as I was a dummy.
Next time, I'll strut up to the machine and know exactly which way to push the bar.  I hope.

Meanwhile, I am tired.  But I am no where near tired enough to quit.

January

Last day of January.
Today ends my first month of training.

Total miles run in January: 39.35.

That number will only get higher each month.

I'm ready to see what I'm capable of in February.

PBS & Mondays

Mondays are the worst.  The WORST!
Never felt that way about a day of the week before starting this thing.
And now it's a solid fact: Mondays are the worst.

I used to work with a sweet lady with down syndrome who would, each Monday morning, warn everyone as she arrived - - "Please, don't...don't talk to me....I don't like Mondays."
I'm with you now, Nona!

After great progress this weekend, I got on the treadmill this morning and CHUGGED and STRUGGLED through the 35 minute run. The time took forever. Everytime I looked back at the clock thinking at least 5 minutes had passed, I was wrong and only 30 seconds had passed. If that much.
This happened last Monday, too, and the emotion held me down through Wednesday.

This time though, I won't have to take the blame. 

It's Monday's fault!

Last night, I made the mistake of watching a PBS Nova special on the physiology of a first time marathon runner. I thought it would've been inspiring.
Unfortunately, the inspiration I took from it was fear of injury.
They took a group of 12 sedentary people and trained them for the marathon. 
This crew was motley at best.
Variety of ages.
Variety of sizes.
Variety of fitness levels.

Now that I think back on it, there was a bit of inspiration taken: 12 of the 12 finished the marathon.
They ALL finished the marathon.

Tomorrow is Tuesday and that's when I will start over. 
I'll look back and stick my tongue out at this stupid, energy sapping, sluggish, cliche, Garfield hated day.

4.16mi

These Saturday long runs vacillate between "i got this" and "can i do this?".

Today's distance according to the high holy program calendar was 4 miles.
It was buzzing in my ear all week. "Psst...4 miles Saturday."
I was all ready to tackle it outside when this happened:

Columbus isn't the most efficient at clearing its streets.
Maybe I should have journeyed out in it anyways.
But the run was more important to me than the exploring.

So I drove to the gym for the dreaded treadmill.

I strutted in with all the confidence I could muster.
I'm tackling 4 miles today, I conveyed with my stare and nod and thumbs up to random strangers.

But then I got in front of that treadmill and the fear set in.
I must have bent down to tie my shoes at least 7 times.

Once I finally hit "go", I really did GO!
Mile 1 and 2 flew by without even my notice!

I'm starting to learn my stride.  I'm starting to learn my breathing needs.  I'm starting to learn what to do with my arms so my shoulders don't ache.  I'm not flailing down buses anymore like this pal o' mine:



3.5 miles came and I couldn't stop smiling. 

The knowledge that I just ran further and longer than I ever have before shot sparks through my legs and arms. And I kept going.

It really started getting hard when i had .25mi left or 1 lap on that silly treadmill grid.

It wouldn't come fast enough.

Thankfully, this song came on the ipod and pushed me through to the end:

I <3 Macklemore!

So now I can obsess over next Saturday's 5 miler. 

I'll let it whisper in my ear starting tomorrow.

Today, I'm still proud and bragging about today's distance.

And enjoying the best part of any run.
Chocolate Milk in the Batman Glass: